Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
