My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize