Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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