does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
