I feel like abortions should bother me more
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She even gives head with a lisp.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
