I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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