I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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