yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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