I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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