i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
