whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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