i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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