turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
