The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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