why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
