I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
