I love black thongs
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
