I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
