im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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