how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
