Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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