Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
one might say we're banned from that church
she looked like the before picture.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
