they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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