I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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