My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I lost the right to judge tonight
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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