There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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