just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
