this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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