I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize