shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
