Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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