I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
