After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
