pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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