But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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