Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
