Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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