Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
