How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Randomize
