Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
We named our party play list daddy issues
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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