Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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