I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
it glows. i had to have it.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
