he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize