i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
