how can u be prego again
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
