Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
