Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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