there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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