i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
