If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
