He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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