Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
