He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
be right there i have to get my cape
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
