Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
