So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
