just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
