The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My feet surprised me
Randomize
