is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
