yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
