his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
the room spins SO much faster in panama
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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