He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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