Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
