Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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