I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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