He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
