thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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