im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize