brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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