i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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