The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
