Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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