We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
