white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
